Diet Coke and IVs

I am happy to report that the partial meniscectomy on my right knee is over and all should be well in 4-6 weeks. For the record, though, the day was, while the absolute best experience I've ever had with any healthcare facility, not without incident.

• I couldn't pee in the cup. I just couldn't. I didn't have to go. And so I held up the surgery rotation until I could do it.


• I have been carbonated beverage free since April 1, 2009. Yes, by choice. Until Friday. My blood pressure and blood sugar dropped so low following surgery that they made me drink a Diet Coke. I cried. I'm back on the wagon.


• I don't like IVs. The needles bother me. And someone could put whatever they want in it and make me really whack out. That's scary. So I put my foot down and said I sould not let them put an IV in me anywhere but near my elbow...you know, the normal place and all. Only my blood vessels didn't get the message and , well, see for yourself...

Remember those big tubes connected to the back of the people's heads in The Matrix? Ugh. That's what it looks like to me all plunged into the flesh and all. Gross.

Don't Be Shy

This is Baxter.

He's my new best friend. It's very sad, I must say. My late grandmother would be so proud and that's why it's so sad. I sit on the back porch watching the birds...like an old lady. And taking it a step further and naming them is even worse. I must get out more.

Baxter seemed to be camera shy one summerlike day last week. I don't know what it was 'cause he usually struts his stuff all around the yard. He flys from tree to tree, shakin' his tail feather, and perches on whatever limb gives him the most screen time. Or maybe he was just refusing to smile until summer comes. I'm with him.

Come, come summertime...don't, don't don't be shy. (by some cat named Schwayze)

Mmmm, Mmmm Good

Not long ago -- back before Thanksgiving -- I was watching a lady bug crawl around on the skylight (how do they always get inside, year after year?) and pondering one of those really important type questions...how do you make deviled eggs? Really, because my sister was so tired of bringing them to every family function. I mean, she's the logical one, don't you think, what with the chickens in her backyard and all. But nooooooo, she gave the task to me and that meant at age 37, I finally had to learn to make deviled eggs.

How do you devil an egg? I wondered.

I could have phoned a friend but that would mean I'd have to hear about calling myself Southern without knowing how to make deviled eggs. So I did what I knew best: consulted a cookbook. But not just any cookbook, this cookbook:

Oh my, it's become my go to for those dishes that everyone's mama and grandmama just know how to make, but the rest of us haven't bothered to master yet. Like Chicken Fried Steak, Squash Casserole, Chicken Noodle Soup, Pimento Cheese, buttermilk cornbread, greens, macaroni & cheese, and yes, deviled eggs. This should be required reading for all new Southern brides. Honestly, I figure all of us in my generation really should learn how to cook these things (disregard the fat if you really must) before those who have cooked it for us for so long are no longer around to give us pointers.

Easter Dress

Does anyone other than me remember what a huge deal it was to go shopping for an Easter dress when you were younger? I can still remember that is was most often white ('cause Easter officially kicked off the white clothing season and all), had some sort of eyelet lace somewhere (we didn't have the whole monogrammed craze back then), and most definitley was accompanied by white shoes, white lacy socks and more often than not, a hat (which either had a wide ribbon or stretchy piece of elastic for under the chin that held the hat on your head).

See what I mean...

Now, you have to be careful that flesh of the wing-joint-waitress-sort isn't on display for all to see in the dresses available today. It's just terrible and at total odds with our Southern heritage. It's like pound cake without the butter, or a garden without azaleas, or worse yet, tea without sugar. It just shouldn't be.

For the record, if you happen to see my daughter on Easter, I plead the fifth. Really, it's easier than pleading my case.

Neighborhood Cassanova

Not So Impressive

One way not to impress your girlfriend's father....

make him break out the Massey Ferguson because you've gotten your truck stuck in his front yard when picking his daughter up for a date.

Giveaway Tuesday: Lather Up Winners

You came. You saw. You commented. And now two of you will be rewarded.

Congratulations to #8 Charlotte Morris - you win prize pack 1.

Hooray for #4 NatalieM - you're taking home a brand new car! No, really, prize pack 2 is coming your way.

I used the scientifically random process at random.org for the winner selection. However, I am too cheap to pay for the service which holds the winning numbers for a period of time so you can check my honesty. But let's face it, there were only 10 of you who entered and I used a totally unbiased helper (thanks Madalyn) in the selection of the winners. She pushed the generate button and assigned the prizes. If you aren't happy, take it up with her. But take my advice, you're not likely to win that argument. She is a preteen female after all.

Seriously, thanks to all of you who participated. It was like eating cotton candy and funnel cakes at the fair for me. I must do it again soon!

Neighborhood Watchbirds

Giveaway Tuesday: Lather Up

Today I tried driving with my knee. Well, not actually driving with my knee, but driving with the pain in my knee. Bad idea. The driving wasn't so bad but turning to get out of the car and catching my foot on the doorjam was not the smartest thing I've done recently.

To make matters worse, I screamed and scared the birds away. Not just any birds -- a new variety I haven't seen in my yard before but have since identified with the help of my trusty bird book. To make it up to the birds for making them scatter from their comfortable perches, and to celebrate acquiring follower #6 here on the blog, and because I got a package in the mail last week with some moisturizer I'd won way back in November and it made me really happy, but mostly because the giveaway sponsor is getting anxious and wondering if I'm keeping the prizes for myself, it's Giveaway Tuesday.

To enter, simply leave a comment with your answer to the following question:

What is the 'go to' soap in your home?

Does Irish Spring put a little spring in your step? Or are you lovin' some Lava? Whatever it is that lathers you up each day, share it here for your chance to win one of two prize packs containing three tins of some delightful soaps from Seattle Sundries.

Prize Pack #1: He-She-Them
This pack containt Naughty Nellie, Manly Man and Lavendar Lover.

Prize Pack #2: Some Work, More Play
This pack contains Hard Workin' Hand, Summer Slacker and Gender Neutral.

Rules: (not many, but everyone has to submit to authority at some point in life)
One entry per person, please.
Entries must be received by Friday at noon.
You do not have to be a registered blog follower to enter.
Winners will be chosen by random.org and posted Saturday morning. Who gets what it totally up to me - I'm the boss here.

Because I don't have a whiz-whopper website where I can assign comment numbers to each entry, the time stamp on your entry will determine your number, with the earliest entry being number 1 and so on.

Ready, set, go....!

Giveaway Coming Up

Working on a giveaway for you fine folks. Watch for more details coming soon!

Total Randomness

It is so hard to believe it's been an entire week since I posted the last bit of nonsense on this here blog. But it's been a really, really crazy week...

I am so distraught that the Olmpics are over. So much so that my husband felt he should do something. He bought the Sonic & Mario winter olympics game for the Wii. I can curl for real from the comfort of my own home. All is right in the world again.

My son has taken to hanging out with friends listening to their band practice in a used bookstore that sits next to a Latino market and other vacant downtown buildings. Surely child and family services will be knocking on my door soon...and catching me doing the curl and not keeping up with that delinquent boy.

I tore my meniscus this weekend. I think that's what's been wrong with my knee since November and that I reinjured it Sunday. I can't drive because I can't bend my knee. It's been really weird having to hitch rides and dole out responsibilities that usually come second nature to me. I am totally out of sorts with this thing. On top of that, I have an MRI scheduled for Friday and if there is one thing that I professed long ago that I would never do, it is have an MRI. I am not overly claustrophobic, but I am petrified of being in that small space. Maybe they will tie a string to my big toe so they can pull me out fast when I hyperventilate.

Have a totallly random rest of the week!